Being Your Best: Stop Comparing and Start Running

If you want to drain your mental energy, there is one easy way to do so: compare yourself with others. Comparing yourself with others will only give you two things: either you feel proud when you are above, or you feel jealous and intimidated when you are below. As you can see, both are negative emotions that won’t do you any good.

Unfortunately, our culture is full of comparisons. People like to compare themselves with others.

While some people may say that comparing is a way to motivate themselves, I think there is a better way to do that without draining our mental energy. Here it is:

Find a role model and use him as a pacer.

A role model is someone whose quality and achievements you admire. It’s no secret that the way to be great is by emulating those who are great. By finding the right role model, you will have concrete example of the qualities you want to achieve. Since those qualities are now tangible, it will be much easier for you to run after them. By selecting the right role model and running after him, you will quickly improve yourself.

Here are some steps to apply this principle:

1. Stop looking at others’ statistics

This is the way to stop comparing yourself with others. I know this is not easy to do since we have the tendency to compare ourselves with others. But, as I’ve said above, this will only drain your mental energy. So resist the temptation to look at others’ statistics for comparison sake.

2. Look around for someone whom you want to emulate

Instead of comparing, you should find someone you want to emulate. This is perhaps the most difficult step here because it’s not easy to find the right role model. Your role model should:

have significant achievements that you want to emulate (in this case, you do need to look at his statistics).

not so far ahead that you can’t realistically hope to run after him

have performed well consistently for long time

have other characteristics that are similar to you or your situation.

The last point is important. There are perhaps some persons who have the achievements you want, but - looking at their characteristics - they are very different from you. In that case, it will be too difficult and unnatural to emulate them. The more similar their characteristics with yours, the more natural it will be to emulate them.

While you can choose some models to emulate, in my opinion it is better to have only one main role model. Just like having one goal make it easier for you to achieve it, having one main role model make it easier for you to emulate him. Of course, you are unique so you also need to learn from other models to find the unique combination that fits you, but still, having one main model is helpful.

3. Look closely at how your role model does things

To emulate your role model, you should find out the details of how he or she does things. Watch your role model closely. Study his work, life, and methods. Try to dissect the traits and actions that make him successful.

4. Set some actions to take based on your findings

You should then turn your findings into some actions you can take. These are the things you can do to bring you closer to your model’s achievements.

5. Set your role model’s current statistics and quality as your target

As I wrote above, your role model acts as a pacer. So set his statistics and quality as your target to run after. Of course, you should not blindly try to match the numbers. Adjust things to match your unique circumstances.

6. Aim to emulate your role model as quickly as possible

To make sure that you do not just sit down and relax, you should make a decision to run as fast as you can.

Your role model may have been ahead of you when you reach his current level of achievement, but that’s fine. The most important thing is you run as fast as you can.

如果你想耗尽你的脑力，有一个简单的办法，就是把你自己和其他人比，这种比较会给你带来两个后果：要么在你胜人一筹的时候，你感到自豪，要么在你比上不足的时候，你感到嫉妒和羞愧。正如你所知道的，这两种后果带给你的都是负面情绪，对你没有任何好处。

不幸的是，我们的文化充满了竞争。人们喜欢拿自己和别人比。

当一些人提出和他人比较是一种激励自己的方法的时候，我认为有一种比其更好的方法，并且不用耗尽我们的脑力。方法如下：

找一个榜样并且以他作为你自己的标杆

所谓榜样就是其身上的品质和成就为你所敬仰。毫无疑问，成功最好的方法就是模仿成功人士。通过找到正确的榜样，你将会塑造出你希望自己达到的形象。既然这些成功人士身上的品质是有形的，对你来说去努力效仿他们就变得容易得多了。通过选择合适的榜样并且努力追随榜样的力量，你将会发现你自己迅速的提高了。

这里有一些可以适用的原则：

1. 不要参照他人的数据

这个方法可以帮助你停止与他人进行比较。我这道，一开始并不容易做到，因为我们习惯性得把自己和他人比较。但是，正如我以上所说的，这种比较只会耗尽我们的脑力。所以，为了避免与他人比较，拒绝这种参照他人数据的诱惑。

2. 找寻一个你的榜样

你应该找寻一个你所希望效仿的人而不是与他人比较。由于找寻一个合适的目标并不简单，所以也许这点并是最不容易做到的。你要找到的榜样应该具备如下条件：

你的榜样拥有你希望达到的重大成就(这点上，你需要去看一下他的数据)。

你的榜样与你的距离不至于远到，你无法到他的境界。

你的榜样长期一直表现杰出。

你的榜样身上拥有一些特征，而这些特征与你或者你现在的情况比较相似。

最后一点，也是最重要的一点。也许，你希望自己能和有些人一样成功，但是看一下他们身上的特征，这些特征在你身上找不到。从这个层面上讲，对你来说去模仿这样的一些人是很难而且也也是不自然的。越是，你与你要效仿的人性格相近，那么你效仿起来也显得越加自然。

当你可以选择一些目标对象的时候，以我的观点，最好只选取一个主要目标。道理很简单，一个目标易得，一个榜样易仿。当然，你是独一无二的，你也可以从其他对象中找到适合你的特别组合，但是，仍然集中于一个主要对象会对你有所帮助。

3. 仔细观察你所选定的榜样做事的方式

为了效仿你的榜样，你需要找出他做事方式的细节。仔细观察。认真学习他的工作方式，生活方式和方法。试图分析他成功背后的品质和行为。

4. 以你的发现为准绳，开始行动

你应该把你的发现转为你的行动。你的行动将会缩小你和你榜样之间的距离。

5. 视你的榜样现在数据和品质作为你的目标

正如我如上所写，你的榜样就是你的标杆。所以他所获得成功和拥有的品质就是你要努力追赶的对象。当然，你也不应该盲目去凑数，改造它，让它适应你自己所特有的情况。

6. 尽可能尽快就开始你的效仿之路

确保你不只是坐在那里唱山歌，你应该下定决心尽力而为。

也许在你追上榜样现有的成就时，你的榜样仍旧在你的前方，不过对你来说没有任何问题，最重要的是你尽力而为了。